Pirates

Sunday morning run. Calm. Casual. Perfect start to the day...
A crow flies low down the middle of the road. Cool Whip’s ears perk up. 

In my head: Ugh. Go away bird. 

Crow lands in the middle of the road just ahead. 
Cool Whip actively turns her head to watch it as we approach. She speeds up a little. 

IMH: UGH! Go AWAY bird! 

Crow looks at CW and struts toward us with a sassy swagger that in bird language I take to mean: “Come at me bro!” 

IMH: Dammit. They’re going to battle.

CW lunges for the crow. “No!” She reaches the end of the leash just as she steps off the sidewalk. I bring us all to stop. Herc is completely oblivious to the looming war three feet to his left. He just wants to pee on the lamp post just ahead to the right. 

Crow stares at CW. CW stares at crow. I scowl, "Whip, get back here." Herc sniffs the grass as a potential alternative to the lamp post he can’t quite reach. The air is getting heavy as threatening looks between bird and beast escalate. Crow slowly creeps forward. CW strains against her harness. 

Suddenly a car comes rushing up the lane closest to us, barely missing the crow as it flies off at the last second. CW watches it escape then shuffles back to my side. 

Herc looks up at me, mouth smiling open wide, tongue hanging out, happy as can be with not a care in the world. CW glances up at me looking mildly annoyed that we're still standing there, “C'mon mom, what’s the holdup??” 
-_- 

Seriously mom. Chill. Out.