Three (3) (tres) (more than 2 & less than 4) (a trio) (a hat-trick) (a trifecta)
That is how many dead birds (roadkill) I've had to pry out of Cdub's jaws in the past seven days (ever since the teddy bear head of death, I get a little overly concerned about what she ingests).
So, yeah, that's me on the side of the road with dog #1 in a headlock between my legs, prying open the pit bull jaws of death, reaching my hand all the way in to pull out miscellaneous dead bird pieces (wings, little twiggy legs, an occasional head); while dog #2 is over there with a giant pit bull smile, tail wagging, practically waving hello with a fluorescent sign to all the cars passing by: HELLO! Good Morning! I don't know you but I love you! HI! Will you stop to pet me?! Have you seen how pretty my mom is?! I'm going to go lick her in the face even though she's busy! Hiiii!
Trying to snitch roadkill snacks takes a lot out of you:
Mom, I can't even.
What does it take for sassy-pants Cool Whip to bust out "I can't even"?
A dead cat and three small dogs within about 100 feet of each other.
This is when CW puts her foot down (literally, all four paws, pun intended) and refuses to move.
We barely get passed a dead cat when ahead in the park I see three small dogs running amuck with their owner. Not on leashes.
Little Dog 1 spots us and makes a beeline for CW. Owner notices this and tries to call it back and coralle the other two. Obviously this is exactly when the other two notice my two and decide its time for a meet-n-greet.
The beasts and I stop so the little dogs won't run farther away from their owner, who I can see is nervous CW and Herc will eat the wee ones. Do not fret lady; I have them under control. For the moment.
Little Dog 2 and 3 arrive. Everyone is sniffing. My two are standing calmly, the perfect image of respectable pibbles. The lady is impressed. She regains control of her mini herd and they wander off.
Whew. Okay, let's get walking again. Herc and I move forward minus my left arm and Cool Whip. Statue. Frozen. Rock-solid. Unmoving. Unwavering. Chin up. Feet planted.
Insert some carrying, some threats, some pleading, some promises of extra breakfast, throwing the leash up in the air in surrender...It was likely very amusing for anyone passing by. But eventually she decided her legs did indeed work. It's a MIRACLE!!!
Me upon witnessing such a miracle: